How to Write Copy for People Over 90 Who Have Never Turned on a PC
From the Town website comes some great copy:
"The Town of Vienna is providing free wireless Internet access at the Town Green located at Maple and Mill Streets,NE. This is a pilot project. The goals of the Town's Wi-Fi pilot project are to attract more customers to the downtown Vienna business area, encourage the use of this public park, and enable more citizens to access Town services online. Users are responsible to take measures to secure their devices and Internet communications. Hours of Wi-Fi operation will by the same as the park hours (parks are open dawn to dusk) throughout the year. Users can log-in using Vienna Gov't Sponsored Free WiFi for the SSID. SSID stands for "Service Set Identifier" and is a unique ID for naming a wireless network. All wireless devices attempting to communicate with each other must share the same SSID. If you have questions or comments about the Town Green Free WiFi, you can contact our I.T. Administrator: Craig Griffin Email: cgriffin@viennava.gov Phone: (703) 255-6364"
Fairly innocuous? Not really. Consider this line more carefully:
"The goals of the Town's Wi-Fi pilot project are to attract more customers to the downtown Vienna business area."
They should have just said:
"The goals of the Town's Wi-Fi pilot project are to say pointless things on the Town website that everyone knows are complete BS, but nonsensical statements make 90 year olds happy so we continue to say them."
The interesting thing about a corrupt and immoral government is that every last word uttered is a manipulative pile of barnyard waste.
Comments
What downtown business area? Is the town green trying to attract customers from VPC? Whole Foods? Vienna Inn? Some serious business is going on in those spots.
I am not really sure who is roaming Vienna with laptops looking to conduct a little business on the green. Sounds pretty sketchy to me.
BTW, who is going to let us know what is going on at the rundown strip mall next door? Why is it suddenly vacant? Is Maud's evil plan to put a parking garage there finally happening? Abraham Family, what say you?
Posted by: vienna mommy | April 6, 2008 10:34 AM
Seems odd that wi-fi will have limited hours. I guess too many keyboards clicking away could disrupt the peace and quiet of a downtown that shuts down at dusk.
Posted by: anne smith | April 6, 2008 11:07 AM
Newsflash for 'vienna mommy': Could you mean Volk family? The Inn was sold some years ago.
Posted by: Longtime Vienna Inn Patron | April 7, 2008 07:32 AM
Even if there were customers, where are they supposed to conduct business on their laptop in the town green? Does the town think someone is going to sit on those backless benches and lean over to type on their laptop for a long period of time? That sounds really comfortable! There are no tables on the town green minus the two warped picnic tables at the back of the Freeman House. It doesn't seem like too much planning went into wi-fi use on the green.
Posted by: Laptop user | April 7, 2008 07:32 AM
The Inn was sold some years ago, the business that is. The land never left the Abraham family. The Abraham family owns the Inn land and the antique shops. Volks have a lease. Something is happening now...
Posted by: HV | April 7, 2008 07:54 AM
All true points, but the Town never intended anything functional. They are politicians. They just want to sound smart and constructive, but none of these boobs thought anything out. For them to say with a straight face that WIFI on what amounts to an empty parking lot in terms of functionality will promote business is beyond moronic, it is purposeful lie. Maud has never had any problem lying. It is what she does.
Posted by: HV | April 7, 2008 07:56 AM
Gosh, I just LOVE when I get put in my place!
Anyone who claims to be a longtime resident would be well aware of the ownership relationship at the VI and subsequent properties.
Posted by: vienna mommy | April 7, 2008 08:57 AM
And still we can't seem to have the Council meetings televised?? And no one else views this as a problem?
Posted by: susan | April 9, 2008 10:35 AM